When God is Good

{This piece was begun in December, and slowly... sporadically... I keep coming back to it; adding a bit more here, changing a bit there. Tossing words around, knowing that words cannot always clearly convey that which weighs deeply in a heart. This is such a learning process for me, this Trusting-God-In-Everything thing, and though I am choosing to share this (finally!) completed thought with you, please know that I know I do not have a complete understanding of His way in brokenness.... I am only beginning to grasp the beauty of it, and slowly... sporadically... moving one foot out to stand on bare and complete trust. Pray for me in this? He is good. He knows how to best teach each one of His children. Thank you for graciousness as I pour out my heart a bit...}



God is good -and we know it- when a father stands before the assembly Sunday morning and praises Him for His love and mercy in the healing of his only daughter.

We can't help but rejoice in the goodness and grace that overflows from our Father's heart when before our eyes she stands-

{this young woman whose body had been racked with seizures multiple times a day for the past two years... who had at one point lost the ability to eat or drink anything beyond a teaspoon of water a day for weeks... whose right eye had turned inward and refused to return it's normal, natural position}

-and verbally lifts His name high, praising Him for it all;
for the work He has done in her through it,

...and every wretched symptom is gone.

We know -in moments like these- that God is good and that His mercy endures forever.
We know without a doubt.

And God is still good when, sitting on that Central American porch in the evening light -with tears running down my cheeks-  I am told that the little girl I held and played with all afternoon really isn't loved by many in this world and does have HIV which, they say, causes AIDS and "... damages or destroys the cells of the immune system, leaving [her] unable to fight infections and certain cancers..."

God is still good.

We giggled and shot photos together... we got our fingernails painted yellow together... and decorated ourselves with Christmas stickers. She went from silent and expressionless to bouncy, chattering and full of smiles right before my eyes.

She is an orphan.

Her smile left her face again when we left her there on that sidewalk two hours later. My heart ripped when our truck pulled through those gates that shut her in and we drove away.

Even then when I stand helpless to fight the injustice, even there where children fall asleep every night without hugs and kisses and prayers; God is still good. And He is still on His throne...

...loving and creating and blessing and beautifying 

and showing Himself strong
on behalf of those who fear Him.

It's just that... that.... well, it's in these moments I have a harder time knowing that God is good.



In the middle of the dirt path that stretches through a little Honduran village held captive by witchcraft and VooDoo, I reach down and pick up a small piece of broken ceramic.
Visible evidence of the state of so many lives here.

Broken.

It's here that I watch the tears roll down the beautiful face of a young women as she remembers her husband who only recently left her and her five children to go and be with Jesus.
They suspect he was murdered for his faith.

This village... it is so dark.

She is my sister because we have the same Father. Her name is Dominga. It means "Belonging to God"... and any one who sees her knows that she does. In her I see this beautiful truth coming to life:

He tends his flock like a shepherd:
   He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart; 

 He gently leads those that have young.
 

And in the midst of all the brokenness of this place I see that -indeed-
God is still as good in this place as in any other.


I grasp to know... to truly believe and trust and live out in situations like these... that  
God. Is. Good.
Truly good and kind and wise.
Always.

{Why do we... why do I... always demand proof before I will believe?}

O me of little faith.



And then.....
I got a  text last week that broke my heart like few things do because it hit very close to home.
A dear friend just had her engagement called off.
My first silent question? 

"WHY?!!"

Why, God?? Why her? Why now? Why this.... Oh Jesus, why this??

And the Lord- ever so gently- took my mind that morning back to the simple truth.  

He is good.

Even when things get broken.

{Even when things get broken.}

Days go by... and then silently, with the dawning of the new year, as I am still pondering all these things, the following words float gently into my inbox.... a message from God to me for right now, written by one who also knows brokenness;

"....‘koinonia,’ it means sharing. Sharing — breaking of oneself
and giving oneself away.
We only have what we hand away.

It means sharing out of brokenness to bring healing to community.
We only are broken and this is beautiful: in brokenness,
we are instruments in the hands of the Wounded Healer.

It means in our brokenness, we share in the sufferings of Christ, and this is communion.
God, He calls His people to share –  not out out any sense of perfection –  but out of brokenness, patterning life after the God who broke Himself and gave..."

(Ah! I am beginning to catch on now!)

 ...and it all make sense, this brokenness.
There is a perfect meaning and beuatiful purpose in all of it. 
Brokenness is how He chooses to grow His Body. It's how He chooses to heal. It's how He chooses to purify His Bride. It's how He forms us into His perfect image.


He was broken. He chose brokenness. That captures my heart.

He is good.
He is always good.

Even when things get broken.

Thank you, Jesus.

Struck Down..... But Not Destroyed

 (Originally written in July 2008, during the hardest season of life I had ever faced up until that time)

"For God, who said, 'Let light shine out of darkness,' 

made his light shine in our hearts 

to give us the light 

of the knowledge of God’s glory 

displayed in the face of Christ.

  But we have this treasure in jars of clay 

to show that this all-surpassing power 

is from God and not from us. 

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; 

perplexed, but not in despair; 

persecuted, but not abandoned; 

struck down, but not destroyed. 

We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, 

so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 

For we who are alive are always being given over to death 

for Jesus’ sake, so that his life 

may also be revealed in our mortal body."

2 Corinthians 4:6-11

The Lord wants to be glorified in His children's everyday lives.

Many times throughout our lives we encounter hardships and difficulties of all kinds.
There's nothing we can do to change this... we live in a dying, hurting world.
But we can decide how we will respond when trouble hits.

We can let Jesus be magnified through our response, or we can dishonor Him by succumbing to our trials; not letting Him prove His power through us.

To succumb means
to submit to an overpowering force or yield
to an overwhelming desire;
give up or give in. 

Does this honor and glorify and magnify Jesus??

Our Lord is merciful, He doesn't heap trials on us just because He can or wants to; He allows different trails and hardships into our lives for very specific reasons and purposes. We are told to consider it PURE JOY when we face trials (James 1:2). Why?

"Because you know that the testing of your faith developes perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." 

The trials God allows are for our good. He wants to make us mature and complete, not lacking anything! The child of God who says "God doesn't care about me." while going through a trial (or at all!) knows so very little. What an utterly backward thing to say- especially while in the midst of the fire! Does this person not know -does He not understand- that the fire he faces is proof that God cares about Him? Can he not see that God cares so much about him that He is willing to do whatever it takes to make him mature and complete, so that he won't lack anything as a child of God?

Rather, the child of God who is faced with a trial should lift up His hands and praise the Lord with all his being that God has not given up on him and is so wonderfully concerned with working in him until he is made complete.

Complete. Is this not what we all, as His children, desire-
to be made complete?

One morning the truth of all this finally struck home as I considered what happens when I punch my bread dough down after it has risen for an hour. Doesn't this ruin my dough? Why punch it down? Was all that rising time and effort wasted? Absolutely not!

In my eagerness to understand exactly WHY I must punch down my bread dough, and what exactly this does to make my bread better, I did some research (good ol' Google!), and this is what I found:

1) Punching down the dough after it has risen expels some of the carbon dioxide and redistributes the yeast cells evenly throughout the dough for a new source of food. Too much carbon dioxide chokes the yeast, so deflating the dough is actually good for it.

2) When the dough is deflated, the temperature is equalized throughout the dough, so that when it is shaped, the dough can rise evenly.

3) When punched, the gluten in the dough is allowed to relax, making the dough easier to shape in the next step.

4) Finally, punching down the risen dough divides the air pockets, making them smaller and more numerous, which ultimately contributes to the fine texture of the bread.

(a special thank you to all those patient readers who bore with me through that brief overview of bread dough. Ahem.)

So, from what I discovered, bread dough needs not only to rise, but it also needs to be punched back down in order for it to turn out well.

So that it will be complete, not lacking anything.

It is the same way for us in our trials. We NEED to be 'struck down' every once in a while. It is part of the process. This is how we are made complete. But we must not forget the promise that is found directly after the words 'struck down' in 2 Corinthians 4:9 ...

"...but not destroyed."!!!

Praise the Lord! Yes, He brings us low, but it is in love and He does not let it destroy us. He does not give us more than we are able to bear. "As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him; for He knows how we are formed, He remembers that we are dust." (Psalm 103:13-14). He knows just how much fire we can handle, and when we learn the lessons He has for us through that fire, then He will remove it for a while. Like silver, He is refining us.

But praise God that He never stops working in us- He never gives up on any of us, even the most stubborn, struggling, and resistant of His children.

I will close with this last little story...

The Silversmith
 Some time ago a few ladies met to study the Scriptures. While reading the third chapter of Malachi, they came upon a remarkable expression in the third verse: 
"And He shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver."
One lady decided to visit a silversmith and report to the others what he said about the subject. She went accordingly and, without telling him the reason for her visit, begged the silversmith to tell her about the process of refining silver. After he had fully described it to her, she asked, "Sir, do you sit while the work of refining is going on?" "Oh, yes ma'am," replied the silversmith, "I must sit and watch the furnace constantly, for if the time necessary for refining is exceeded in the slightest degree, the silver will be injured." God sees it necessary to put His children into the furnace; but His eye is steadily intent on the work of purifying and His wisdom and love are both engaged in the best manner for us. Our trials do not come at random, and He will not let us be tested beyond what we can endure.
Before she left, the lady asked one final question, "How do you know when the process is complete?"

"That's quite simple," replied the silversmith.  
"When I can see my own image in the silver, the refining process is complete."
 ~ Unknown

So let us praise the Lord when we go through trials and hardships. Let us love Him even more through the hardest and most intense times. Let us sing praises to Him while we suffer. Let us remember that He feels our pain and holds all of our tears... He is the one who walks beside us and holds our hands through it all. He is our Shepherd- let's let Him do the leading, and remember that our part is simply to follow and trust completely. Let us bring glory and honor to His precious name as we walk through the fire.

Let the power of the Lord be the message 

that is shouted to the world by the megaphone of our trials...

 

      ...and may He be magnified in His children as He makes us perfect, mature and complete.

Spring Cleaning and Heart Cleansing

Earlier this week my sister and I went to do some Spring cleaning for a widow friend of ours.
As we washed dirty old windows, I began to see life more clearly thru my own soul-window.

 

Funny how we can find spiritual analogies and life lessons anywhere if we keep our eyes open for them. So I kept my phone -with it's handy little camera- close a hand to capture picturesque epiphanies, and prayed that the Lord would weave these forming, tangling thoughts into a thread that I could learn from.

Cleaning....Cleansing.... these are necessary for life.

Practically, washing away dirt and dust purifies our surroundings so we can live healthy lives. If we leave dust in a place for too long, it begins to collect and pollute the air. It also looks pretty disturbing, and creates an uncomfortable atmosphere.

We don't want to leave piles of junk laying around because somehow piles always find a way to grow.... and will eventually -and almost undoubtedly- pose very hazardous situations for us. For example; never, NEVER should you leave clutter, toys, and a small chair in the middle of the floor between you and the bathroom in the middle of the night when all is dark. This would be considered a hazardous situation. (I just happen to know this. Carry on.)

Spiritually, our hearts need cleaning and cleansing too. Sin, bad habits, old ways, dirty thoughts..... these pollute our minds and hearts, keeping us from seeing clearly and walking closely with God.
The chair-in-the-middle-of-the-floor example comes to mind again. If we leave spiritual dirt laying around and allow sin-clutter to collect into piles in our hearts, these may be the very things that cause us to stumble when we find ourselves in the dark seasons of life!

"Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me..." It was no wonder that this was the song stuck in my head throughout the afternoon as I vacuumed and dusted.

 

I want a clean heart. 

An uncluttered, purified, organized, 

renewed, cleansed heart.

But I cannot clean it. I cannot shove a vacuum or a dust rag inside my heart to clear out the filth.

I cannot sweep my own sin away, or scrub the hard and encrusted, baked-on bad habits off.

I cannot just simply change the way I operate and expect that to make up for my past negligence in those areas.

I must be cleansed.

Only Jesus our Maker, Redeemer, Saviour and Healer has the ability and the power to make us clean again. We can't do it ourselves.

What I can do, however, 

(and MUST do if I want to be cleansed)

is repent. 

Turn from my sin, confess it to Jesus, ask for His cleansing 

......and then walk in that purity.

Now that this subject has been so heavily on my mind, I am beginning to see more and more of the dirt in myself. It is- to put it quite simply- pretty yucky. I don't know about you, but if the pure in heart are the ones that get to see God, then I want to be pure in heart!!!

Oh Jesus, wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin. (Psalm 51:2 NIV)

And the exciting thing is.....
HE WANTS TO CLEANSE US!

Those of you who know me well, know that I LOVE this story....
"Then a leper appeared and went to his knees before Jesus, praying, 'Master, if you want to, you can heal my body.' Jesus reached out and touched him, saying, 'I want to. Be clean.' Then and there, all signs of the leprosy were gone." Matthew 8:2, 3 


What a merciful Savior Jesus is! Not only does He show us our need for cleansing.... He provides the cleansing Himself

I crawled into bed again last night with a heavy but repentant heart. Again, I had let dust build up on my sleeve.... and no one wants to be around a dirty self-centered attitude! I had let the filth collect inside my heart and then poured it all out of my mouth in one disgusting gush. Then I was left with an even bigger mess to clean up. I am tired of being dirty more often than being clean. I am back on my knees..... and -again- He has forgiven me and washed me with a beautiful new mercy. I can face today with grace and joy. Walking in repentance is a refreshing thing.

So, come on.... what are you waiting for?! Let's draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water!!! (Hebrews 10:22)

 

Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;

wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.

Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones you have crushed rejoice. 

Hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity.

Create in me a pure heart, O God, 

and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. 

Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

Psalm 51:7-12 NIV